The nest

janesmouse @ 2005-08-30T20:15:00

2005-08-30T19:28:35Z

This LJ is like a bus route, nothing for months and then two in one day!

Today I have smiled, I have laughed and I have cried bitterly and it isn't Bicon crash!

I talked to Marc several times today, he makes me feel so good :-)

But then I talked to mouses_foxey after several exchanged texts ( she hasn't been able to talk to me since I told her about Marc and her texts have been pretty terse)
I'll not bore everyone with details here (is there actually enough storage on LJ to let me do so?), suffice it to say that there is a difficult adjustment period ahead in my life but hopefully at the end of it
I will still be in a poly relationship. She is finding it hard to adjust but wants to do so. All I can do is
take things steadily and support her as she works out her feelings.

I know the reasons for the problem, and many of them are my fault for applying absolutes to myself at a time of great flux in my life. On the flip side though mouses_foxey should have been seeing the changes in me and preparing.....actually I think she was but didn't quite realise how it would affect her emotionally.

Watch this space, I'm sure there will be more postings soon.

The Bicon post, one in a very intermittant series

2005-08-30T08:21:29Z

Yep it's me again, I can't beleive that my life is so boring that I post here so infrequently....

But Bicon is done and excitement has been in my life again, so here I am.

mouses_foxey couldn't make it this year (too busy with other partner stuff) so I had to grit my teeth
and attend this twisted and perverted event on my own. And I am the one who only attended Bicon 2002 because Jane was
Bi and I hated letting her out of my sight.

For those who don't remember, my first two Bicon's (2002 and 2004) were a disaster, I freaked out for 2 days at the first
and was ill for 2 days at the second. This year I was only ill (some sort of stomach/bowel disorder) for one afternoon (Sunday). I was in the bar on all three nights and I actually attended 2 workshops (would have been several more
but I got deeply involved in some important stuff in "meet and mingle" and missed 2 of them and another was on Sunday afternoon when I was rather much in pain.

And this year I actually had the qualifications to attend Bicon! I came out as Bi earlier this year with the realisation that men were useful for a little more than DIY and fixing my car ;-)
And a good job too because this year's Bicon was very special and introduced me to the world as a poly person too.

Hmmm, how to put it..........

Emily's Got A Boyfriend!!!!!.

Yep, proper soppy stuff too. We talked in the bar on Friday night. We danced at the ball on Saturday night.
I woke up next to him on Sunday morning......for detalis of that......eat your heart out!!!! This lady is not talking.
Sunday night we danced some more. And Monday? I said au revoir :-(

I can't wait until I see him again though it does have to wait a while as we both have other commitments over the next few weeks. But soon enough my Marc is going to be coming up to Nottingham for a wonderful weekend.

Anyway enough about me....

Thank you to all of the team of Bicon 2005, personal reasons aside, this has been a wonderful weekend. There were a few teething problems, but they worked so very hard to get everything working as smoothly as it is possible for such an event to go. Thanks gang, you did us proud.

Look forward to seeing everyone in Glasgow next year.

'smee again

2005-05-11T08:45:52Z

Looks like my old broken clock is more reliable than me! At least it is right twice a day and I only post in here every few months :-(

Well, I've just found out about Birmingham Pride and if I can get the Saturday off work I'll be trundling down. liberaltart has invited me down and it's going to be lovely to see her again :-)

I think this is the first LGBT event of any kind I have managed to get to since Bicon2004 so I hope I bump into a few others too.

This weekend of course there are two conflicting events, one in London and one up the road in Derby, and where am I going?
.
.
.
.
.
Newark and Notts County Show to help out in the refreshments marquee with my WI. Ce La Vie!

janesmouse @ 2004-12-22T14:25:00

2004-12-22T14:28:08Z

Yayyyy!!!!! Just had a phone call from the hospital.
"Would I like to have my surgery on Jan 20th?"
Of course I wouldn't I'd prefer it now, but I'll settle for their date :-)

So, on Thursday 20th of January (if all goes well) Emily will have her gallbladder
taken away, never to return. Wonder what will fail on me next :-(

'tis the season to be jolly?

2004-12-20T21:21:12Z

Bah Humbug!

Feel like crap today, rottenest most stinky case of flu I've had for years,
only got about 3 hours sleep because of it last night!

On top of that work have screwed up wages, so I'm not even sure how much money I have
this month :-(

Ex and her sister found a way to really stress me this year, worst of it is
the only real casualty is my son :-((

And poor mouses_foxey is in hospital on Christmas eve for day surgery.
Nothing too serious but she will be sore and out of sorts for a few days.

There are a few bright glimmerings though, card arrived from Marinella today, the local churches
had a band playing out in the street this evening and I had a lovely chat with Alex about starting up the Nottingham Women's Group and getting together to start organising the Health Gathering next year.

Ok, so the positives win :-)

Going very very quiet.

2004-10-22T12:49:28Z

Went quiet again didn't I?

Looks like I'm going to stay that way for the foreseeable future though, much going on that I can't post in here, it's even meant I have had to unsubscribe from several mailing lists. After all how can you discuss a situation when people involved can also read the messages?
Doesn't help that I can only discuss these things with groups, I cannot and will not these days talk about things in any other way. I just don't believe in burdening individuals.

Bye for now

janesmouse @ 2004-10-02T18:43:00

2004-10-02T17:54:22Z

*sigh* 6.45 on a Saturday evening and I am soooooo bored :-(

mouses_foxey is away in Wales for a weekend with her girlfriend leaving me to have a 'fun' time
on my own.
This morning wasn't too bad though I might have begun to bore Selene with constantly bring Jane into the conversation (she doesn't know about Janes g/f and wouldn't approve). It was nice meeting up with her again, it was one of my longest breakfasts though, we met at 9.30 in a Beeston cafe and went our seperate ways 3 hours later.

Had lunch with Emma and Alex, my kids. Then shopped. I was back home around 2pm.

Since then I have had a chat with mandrake91 who rang to make sure I was alright following recent
posts about Jane and g/f. Such a luvverly teddybear *blows kisses*

I finished my latest book - Ringworlds Children by Larry Niven an then dozed until the phone rang 30 minutes ago. My ex calling for a chat! That is the second time this year and is getting tedious!

What now? I really don't know. Not interested in TV, can't be bothered to read. And no where to go. Looks like I might just end up having the earliest night I have ever had.

New managers just have to prove themselves don't they?

2004-09-28T21:30:34Z

*sigh* Can't wait till I get to the top of that waiting list!

Started back to work yesterday on a very nice plan my manager suggested, over the next 4 weeks she said we will work together to get you back to working as normally as you can. Day 1 was to be listening in to others on calls and then some paperwork related stuff. And then day by day with reviews working towards maybe doing some normal call work from next week, slow and easy. HAH!

"Well Emily, you've been listening to Mandy all morning, have you picked out any areas you need to catch up on?"
I mentioned the main things, connected with some major changes to the company products and prices, the sort of thing that customers are going to be ringing about.
" I'll sort out the trainign for that and get back to you, now, what do you feel like doing? I'm afraid that there is no messaging or paperwork available to give you, that's all been sorted. How do you feel about taking a few calls?"
Bloody typical, and bloody typical of this particular manager!
So I took calls for 1 1/2 hours, I was lucky, a couple of problems but nothing I needed that training for!

She had agreed too (nice girl) to make sure that I would get next Monday off for my hospital visit (it's early evening, but I spun a bit of a yarn about how important it was and how I needed to prepare myself, actually Jane has an appointment in the afternoon and I was goign to take her). And then she tells me that the training I need is Monday from 11.30 till 1pm, "it's the only slot now available and I really do need to have this training don't I?"
Comments about not being able to focus because of the hospital visit later were met with "you shouldn't really bring your personal life into work should you?"
Well we know just how helpful she is going to be in settling me back into work in a caring way don't we?

And to top it all, at 11.05 I started with one of my attacks, I tried to grit my teeth but at 11.45 I took the painkillersand I knew that it as going to be bad. I managed to stick it out until 12.30 but then I had to come home. How the hell does she expect me to be able to function properly when I end up in so much pain that I can't concentrate and can't even sit down!
I know I'm employed to do the job, and I don't like being stuck at home, but I have tried to tell her that stress may just be a contibuting factor in these attacks, and she starts to put pressure on in the first day back!

This is the week that is

2004-09-27T07:50:45Z

75 minutes time and I'll be back at work after several weeks off.
Feeling a little nervous, but they are being great about it all and
have a plan in place that will let me ease gradually back into the job,
and lots of flexibility in case I have problems and need to come home.

And it's only 4 1/2 days until I drop Jane off in Stoke on Trent ready
for her weekend in Wales with her girlfriend. Still a strange feeling that,
my partner spending time away with a second partner. Well I'm getting
used to it, it's going to be a quiet weekend though, going to try to
get together lots of things to so I don't feel too alone. Can't wait until
Sunday night though when she gets back here.

janesmouse @ 2004-09-25T17:53:00

2004-09-25T17:00:32Z

Decisions, decisions!

Finally decided that I'm really gonna have that tattoo, been talking about it on and off for 3 years, and now is the time.

Well that's one decision made, now for the next ones......what and where!

When mouses_foxey had hers done I browsed through all of the designs at the studio, twice! Just couldn't see anything that took my fancy.

Something like a really cute mouse would be good, or maybe a cute fox and mouse design, I keep browsing the net looking for something suitable.....maybe one day.

janesmouse @ 2004-09-24T21:15:00

2004-09-24T20:24:32Z

You'd think that now I'm spending so much time on here I'd actually be doing something useful. HAH!

I'll have to make plans for things to do, maybe rewrite the website, catch up on all of those little housekeeping tasks I keep putting off.

Yep, Jane is on the phone to her other girlfriend again, so I'm being really polite and not earwigging.

In seven days time she'll be in the Welsh lovenest for a weekend, and I'll probably be sat here doing something
really useful. HAH!

I used to think I had a really nice quiet life....read boring for quiet, I'm only just beginning to realise
that. Oh well if I tried to spice it up I'd probably scare myself silly again like that time in the nightclub with the Somalian......was I drunk that night! It took me 3 weeks to be able to even think about that night without crying and getting the shakes and to this day I have never been in that club again or gotton that drunk.
Oh, nothing actually happened, it is just the thought of what might.

I'll stick to quiet and staying at home, with very few exceptions (thanks mandrake91 it is less upsetting.

janesmouse @ 2004-09-24T15:48:00

2004-09-24T14:57:50Z

Well the freaking out is over so I can start posting again :-)

Start back to work on Monday after weeks off with this bl**dy gall-bladder, not going to be fixed for months yet, but I m going stir crazy!
Popped into work to have a chat with my manager about the start back plans and so many people asked how I was and said how pleased they were I was going back. And they've had a change around so I'm sitting very close to mouses_foxey now :-)

As I said, the freaking out is over, I'm not distressed about Jane going off for a weekend with her g/f next week. More thinking of what I can do while she is away....any parties going off next weekend?

Ok, back to playing with my new toy, picked up a laminator and some pouches, busy making laminated photos of jane and the kids to carry round.

janesmouse @ 2004-09-20T13:58:00

2004-09-20T13:02:33Z

Amazing how the creative act can be so satisfying.

Just turned 1 pineapple and two large onions into the most amazing Pineapple Chutney to combine with my curries and homemade Peshwari Naan. mouses_foxey and her daughter are going to be so happy again :-)

Next is to get some red peppers to combine with all of the tomatoes the neighbours gave me. The last time I made the Pepper and tomato relish it almost became a staple in our diet here.

One nice thing about this fun in the kitchen is that it pushes the other problems down below the surface again where they can work together and solve themselves before popping back out into view.

And I said I would keep this updated!

2004-09-20T12:40:15Z

Well I'm certainly letting things slip, not posting in here, not posting in other places, not replying to the good and the bad things happening to my new found friends (Sorry peeps :-( )

I'se not a happy bunny ATM, and until I can work things out in my head I'll stay that way :-(

mouses_foxey most definately has a g/f, looks like it's going to be a full and loving relationship too. I have to admit that it is wonderful to look at my partners face and see the love shining there, she looks so beautiful and happy and that does give me happiness too.

But there will never be anything between myself and Jane's g/f, in fact I'm not sure I want to spend a great deal of time with her, though I comfortable sharing Jane with her.
Things have been asked and almost demanded of Jane that have upset me, but I love Jane and she loves us both so I have to spend a great deal of time thinking. For Jane's sake I need to accept this other, but for mine I need to stay apart. Can one forgive something that one feels to be wrong for the sake of anothers happiness? Can I say that I don't mind, that all is well, when that gives out a signal that these things are alright?

Like I say, lots of working out to do, and very little time to do it....we are all meeting up in Stoke on Trent tomorrow morning to spend a day together. Wish I had somewhere else I could legitimately spend the day without it being obvious. Truble is I need to drive Jane there and back, she would get lost.

janesmouse @ 2004-09-16T22:02:00

2004-09-16T21:04:59Z

*sigh* Must update soon......must update soon......

*NEWSFLASH* mouses_foxey has a new girlfriend!

janesmouse @ 2004-09-10T09:23:00

2004-09-10T08:28:35Z

Talk about being busy, this mouse is scurrying everywhere today!

We have a guest for the weekend, one of our new Bicon friends is coming to stay :-)

So that means I'm playing at being housemouse now, waiting for rice to cook ready for making the first loaf of the day while I type this (rice in a white loaf makes it really soft and tasty).

Then it's clean and dust and clean and tidy and clean...........

Then off to Tesco for a dozen bottles of wine (before you comment, half are for the neighbours, they quite like the wine we drink and don't have transport to get their own), and some food of course.

I'm exhasuted already just thinking about it all.

janesmouse @ 2004-09-09T22:27:00

2004-09-09T21:31:13Z

Been playing with new camcorder, bloody fantastic!!!!!!

Also playing with TV, for a few days now it has been insisting that it is ready to download an update for it's software, tonight we decided to let it. What a mistake, as soon as it had finished it started retuning all of the digital channels, we have lost all ITV and some other digital channels, can't watch bid-up tv anymore :-(

Oh well, off to bed soon for an early night

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Busy, busy

2004-09-09T13:36:22Z

Steady but satisfying day today, well mostly.

First thing after dropping Jane off at work I put up the supports for the back shelving in
the pantry.

Then it was off to B&Q to get a piece of Contiboard for the shelves, waited for 20 minutes
for someone to appear at the cutting counter to slice my board into 3 pieces (easier than trying to get 2.5m of board into the car to cut at home).
Unfortunately when I bought the shelf brackets at Wilcos yesterday they only had 3 in stock and B&Q were completely out. Got to wait until tomorrow now to get the other 3.

Also cut worktop to size and fitted it to the extra cupboard I put into the kitchen, just the tiling and socket to do now :-)

Jane phoned at lunch to tell me she had bought a new little pressy for me (us) a Samsung VP-D230 camcorder for £175 (she haggles well does my girl), so I'm off shortly to buy some
tapes for it.

All we have to do now is find new jobs, Jane is coming home very tired from work, full-time work is too much for her with her Thyroid problem. Unfortunately where other than callcentres can we both get a well paid (relatively) job working together that lets Jane do around 30 hours/week and gives us weekends free to meet up with our friends?

Oh well, back to sorting the washing out and then off to Currys to get some tapes.

Warning! Warning!

2004-09-08T09:18:32Z

LOOK OUT!
ïòð

janesmouse is a radioactive squirrel!!

From Go-Quiz.com

janesmouse @ 2004-09-07T10:14:00

2004-09-07T09:54:34Z

Looks like one of those days today!

Started with a gallstone attack that woke me at 3.30am, mouses_foxey was annoyed when I told her, said I should have woken her up. Couldn't do that to her, a cuddle would have been nice, but she gets so tired ATM and needs her sleep.
Feeling a bit bruised now that the pain has gone, but otherwise quite bouncy.

Just had a visit from my Manager, she popped in to chat about the illness and to see what could be done to help me get back to work. This is the first time I have seen her as a manager and she seems quite nice, previously she was a supervisor on our team and I didn't
like her at all.

Going to have a cuppa now, then it's back to geting the pantry sorted, need to cut down some shelves and do a bit of drilling for cables.

Hmmmmm, think I'll do a nice homemade soup for when Jane gets home, she likes them.

Slut meme Stats

2004-09-06T11:16:34Z

janesmouse's LiveJournal Slut Stats
The below percentages indicate what janesmouse has done with the 10 people on her friends list!

met

100.0%

hugged

80.0%

dated

20.0%

kissed

20.0%

seen topless

20.0%

seen naked

20.0%

phone sexed

0.0%

made out

10.0%

oral sex

10.0%

fucked

10.0%

What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats?
Sponsored via Adult Friend Finder. Keep this meme and others like it checking it out or getting free account! You may meet the match of your dreams!

Hmmmmm, looks like I need to work on some of those actions :-)

6 months and counting

2004-09-06T11:12:23Z

Back from hospital. Saw a very nice Nurse/Practitioner who asked all sorts of questions then wandered off to see the consultant. When she came back she explained the procedure (laproscopic cholysystectomy), the risks and how long I would be in (overnight stay).
I signed the consent form and now I'm on the waiting list, should be seen within 6 months.

I'll be so glad to get this sorted, it really screws up my life with the unpredicatablity of the attacks.

janesmouse @ 2004-09-06T09:28:00

2004-09-06T08:33:00Z

Set off for the hospital in 10 minutes, hopefully this is when I'll get onto the waiting list for my gallbladder, I'll be so glad to be rid of the nasty thing especially as it stopped me enjoying Bicon to it's fullest (much pain on Friday that meant I stayed in my room nearly all day).

*sigh* really seem to have the blues today. Interesting place Bicon, in my case it has left me with more issues to sort out that I had before I went. I suspect I'll be at Bicon next year before I manage to sort them all out.

Rollercoaster

2004-09-05T15:43:47Z

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Nope not as good as it sounds, we had dinner after I fetched mouses_foxey from work this afternoon and I curled up against her to watch TV.
And I could just feel happiness draining away, the world darkening around me.

My love held me close and let the light and warmth of her love flow over me.

Even now I can feel it at the edges, just waiting, watching, tapping and looking for
chinks so that it can get me again.

Yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-09-05T08:31:10Z

Two posts in two days!!! Where will it all end?

Good news for all of those who were disappointed by the news that I wouldn't be at Bicon next year. mouses_foxey and I have decided that WorldCon isn't for us after all, we are doing Redemption at Hinckley in February instead.
Science Fiction is Art and should be read, Bicon is about life and should be experienced!!

Many thanks to my friends old and new at Bicon this year, bethanthepurple the bouncey who certainly brghtened the weekend with her smiles and bounce, mandrake91 who watched over me like a Mother Hen (see you soon M'dear), and of course the wonderful mouses_foxey who held me when the bad things happened.

*waves to everyone else*

Oh and to anyone who wonders why I didn't always smile back or seem interested, I'm not so much "flirtblind" as flirt- carries white stick and uses guide dog! Thanks for the interest shown :-)

Whoops, time flies, lots to do today, better get back to work.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *waves*